Unanswered Prayers

As I mentioned in the previous post "Lessons from a Child",  I was blessed three times. I've explained the third, now it's time to explain the second. 

Have you ever heard the song Unanswered Prayers, by Garth Brooks ..."that just because HE doesn't answer doesn't mean HE don't care.  Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers"?

Well, my greatest gift from an unanswered prayer is my daughter, Marisa Goia-Rose.  For over 10 years, I had tried to conceive and prayed to have a child.  Throughout that time, I kept wondering why God wasn't answering me.  But it wasn't until later on that I realized ~ HE was actually listening.  HE knew those years were not the right time. That my life would be moving into a better, healthier direction than where it was, when I was praying to bring a child into my life.  HE knew exactly the right time to send this child to me.

It is always said that when HE takes a life, another HE will give.  It is my belief that HE did this with my mother-in-law who was gravely ill, when HE called her back home two months before Marisa was born.   From an unanswered prayer to keep mom alive, came one of God's greatest gifts.  His reasoning in the timing, I have yet to fully understand, however, I do have some theories.

But from first time I felt her flutter in my belly, Marisa has brought so much more love and happiness into my life.  Looking back, she was really worth that wait. Patience is something that I have always struggled with.  And since she was born, Marisa struggles with it too.  But we are learning and teaching each other how to become more patient and less impatient. 

I'm finding it really hard to not blink, as she is growing up from that baby girl they laid into my arms 11 years ago, into a smart, caring, talented, beautiful young girl.  I can only hope that I am and will continue to teach her well.   I have no doubt that she will excel wherever her heart and dreams take her.  My wishes for my greatest gift...are summed up in the Rascal Flatts song...My Wish.

So when you think your prayers are not being answered, think again.  You may find One of God's Greatest Gifts!

A Mother's Gift of Love

There are no words

That can erase the pain you feel

The news you have gotten

It all just seems surreal.

For it was not long ago

A newborn was laid in your arms

You held him tight and whispered a promise

To keep him safe from all earth’s harms.

Many scrapes and bruises

You dried up many tears

You were the one

To comfort all his fears.

But something doesn’t feel right

As you have awoken

Your promise, you must feel

Has been broken.

But fear not,

There are no faults in your ways

For You gave one special gift

That always he held close throughout his days.

We may find it hard to understand

But this was always the plan

To eternal life he rose

As the Angels gently took his hand.

He now sits

In Heaven Above

Keeping watch over you

The Mother who gave him the GIFT OF LOVE.

(completed 4/28/11)

 

Lessons from a Child

Nine years ago, I was blessed for the third time. The first two are another story that I'll have to tell later on.  My third time is an exceptional one.  God had given me a beautiful baby boy with a head of dark black hair, 10 fingers, toes and all 10lbs.  He was the most precious thing I had ever seen, besides my daughter, who was 22 months at the time.  But within hours he began to have some complications. I was told later he had suffered a STROKE before he took his very first breath into this world no less... it happened sometime in-utero.  Wow, my mind became such a whirlwind.  At the time, I did not know how or what to feel, say, or do.  I became numb.  All kinds of medical terms, conditions, etc. were being thrown at me. Some I had heard of before, but not in the same context as I thought I previously understood.   I would sit for days trying to come up with logical answers as to the when, how I did not know this was happening, especially since our bodies were so very close together; the why's; the what's; the if's and even trying to forsee the future, etc. etc.   But as time has gone by, I realized that I needed to stop looking for these answers.  I'll never find them and it would never change the fact that he suffered the STROKE.   I have to start dealing with the here and now and the state that the STROKE has left him in.  It was somewhat frustrating and scary because I had found little on this topic back then.  I was almost flying blind, if you will, moving through the motions with following doctors orders and hoping that whatever decisions my husband and I made were the right ones.  As it turns out, the effects of his STROKE are mild, compared to many other Survivors that we have since met.  Being mom, I will always have the worries and the doubts but he will survive and accomplish victory because he is very independent, strong and determined.

Through his journey of nine years thus far, my little boy has been my teacher.  He has shown and taught me some wonderful lessons about living and about myself as a person and a parent.  Most recently I have reflected on the five lessons below.  They have given me a whole new and clearer perspective of myself. 

1) Each and everyone one of us has one or more forms of a disability. It may be physical, mental, very well seen by others or only known to ourselves. An impairment of some kind which can make a task more difficult.    2) We should never allow our disability to stand in our way of achieving what we want.  For not trying is failure and we cannot grow, learn or succeed if we don't try.  3) Believe and have faith in yourself.  For it is only YOU that builds your life into something wonderful. Others are merely your tour guides. 4) We should never let our self esteem be scorned by other people's actions and words.  For we are all unique and it's that uniqueness that keeps this world from being boring and repetitive.  5) The disability does not and should not make us stop being a friend, confidant, lover, spouse or parent. We were all born with LOVE and it is LOVE that we all share! 

It is so amazing how young children can teach adults such deep lessons.  Lessons that they can not yet  fully comprehend themselves. I  look forward to learning more lessons from my children through the rest of my days with them. 

Reading Product Labels

I wonder how many read the ingredient label for the items that are purchased and brought home.  I am not talking about food, but other household items, like bath and beauty, toothpaste, mouthwash, detergents and cleaners.  If you do read, do you do it (1) out of curiosity; (2) you or a loved one have a serious condition that your health and life depend on it or (3) decided to change to a healthier lifestyle?   My guess would be that majority of the consumers, don’t read the ingredient labels only the Price label.  With today’s lifestyle and so many families struggling with finances, we race down the aisles of the supermarket or discount stores throwing the well-known and budget friendly products that we have been using over and over again into our cart.  These are products that maybe we’ve grown up with; have been suggested by a friend, neighbor or family member; or that we just simply have entrusted the manufacturer with the statements they make in their advertising.

Should we be reading all these labels?  That's debateable. But we should make an effort to know what type of chemicals are being placed into these products for our own well being and our family’s well being.   Of course, reading the labels is not an easy task. You must be familiar with the scientists’ lingo, in order to comprehend and understand the definition of an ingredient.  Hey, maybe they should publish a pocket ingredient dictionary/translator.  You know similar to the one a tourist carries when visiting a foreign country.  Anyone know if one exists and where you can purchase one?  

It was only recently when a friend of mine made a comment that made me stop, think and be more conscious of the products I am bringing home to my family and home.  She said, “By the time you leave your bathroom, you have exposed and allowed your body to ingest hundreds of chemicals with the soaps, shampoos, shaving creams, toothpaste, perfume, makeup, etc that you used."  And she was right.  According to a study in the UK, women will wear about 500 chemicals and most are oblivious to it.  I know I was!  

Only about 4,000 of 84,000 reported chemicals used in American workplaces, have been evaluated for reproductive effects in men or women.  Could some of the unknown birth defects and disabilities be related to the other 80,000 chemicals?

Some of the chemicals we are told to watch out for and avoid are nonylphenol ethoxylates (NPEs), ammonia, chlorine bleach, DEA, TEA, hydrochloric acid, sodium hydroxide, and sulfuric acid, Parabens, Phthalates (DEHP, BBP, DBP, DMP, DEP), DMDM Hydantoin, Fragrance, Triclosan (linked to breast cancer), Sodium Lauryl/Laureth Sulfate, DEA (diethanolamine) and TEA (triethanolamine), Formaldehyde (linked to some baby products), PEGs (polyethylene glycol), and anything with "glycol" or "methyl."  Do you know how many of these chemicals are sitting in your home now?

You may find that new “greener, healthier” products out on the market will be higher or even comparable in price to the products you are currently purchasing.  But you must look at it in the long run…you will definitely be saving if you make a switch.  Less sick days, doctor’s visits/treatments, etc. Being FIT FOR LIFE is not only about the food we eat, the exercise or activities we do or don't do, but also the products that our bodies come in contact with. Let me take you shopping that's simpler, safer and more economical for your family, home and earth!

Here's to a Healthier and Better You!

DIANE

Resources:

http://healthychild.org/

A recent study in the UK

National Institute of Occupational Safety and Health

A Course in Survival

With some hard times these past two years, it's made me really scale back on a variety of things my family and I enjoyed.  I am learning and really trying to deal with being in this new "survival mode".  My husband, on the other hand, tells me he has been through it before and doesn't think much of it.  But not me, if I have, my parents hid it well or I was just too young to remember.  Growing up, money was never a given, yet to me we were able to live somewhat comfortable and enjoy our life.  I was taught early on that you  have to work for what you want and have done that for many years.  I never expected nor asked for handouts, as to me, it was my problem and no-one elses. Whether it was me who caused the shortfalls or someone else.  But nowadays what I have worked so hard to get, I have to rethink and determine if it really is a necessity and if not bring myself to let it go, which to me is not an easy thing to do.  Working today, it seems, is not for the "wants and must haves" and just because everyone has it or it's an upgrade, but so that you can survive. 

We've played the bill juggling game before, but not like it is today.  We've even started a new game...the grocery game...you know the one...what can we buy for xxx amount that will last us through the week and still give us a healthy decent meal?   It's pretty sad when you were once telling your kids to "eat up and have some more" and now "you get whatever is on your plate and no more...for we must save the rest for another meal".

I can bet there would be quite a percentage of people that never want to be in a survival mode and thinking they shouldn't be there and of it being a negative experience.  But sometimes you must hit bottom or close to it to realize the positives and the lessons that are to be learned.  I believe (1) It puts life in more perspective as to the person you are and allows you to look deep inside of yourself; (2) It eliminates or minimizes our greed; (3) It makes us appreciate more what we do have and should hold onto; (4) It brings our family unit closer together; and (5) It gives us a stronger and healthier spirit to live by.

Our family is still in decent shape and is better than a good portion of our nation.  There are times like today, where we have taken one step forward and then three steps back.  But I keep telling myself that each day, I must continue to Thank God for the blessings and the gifts of the day; ask HIM for strength and guidance to get through this; and to have faith so that I may feel the weight being lifted for HE is there alongside me helping me carry these burdens.  I'll sign off now with this Prayer:

DON'T QUIT

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all uphill; When the funds are low and the debts are high, And you want to smile but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit - Rest if you must, but DON'T YOU QUIT.  Life is queer with its twist and turns, As every one of us sometimes learns, And many a fellow turns about, When he might have won had he stuck it out.  Don't give up though the pace seems slow - You may succeed with another blow.  Often the goal is nearer than It seems to a faint and faltering man; Often the struggler has given up, When he might have captured the victor's cup; And he learned too late when the night came down, How close he was to the golden crown.  Success is failure turned inside out-the silver tint of the clouds of doubt, And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems afar; So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit - It's when things seem worst that you MUSTN'T QUIT.

New Year, New Me

On the morning of the new year, I awoke with a different sense of being.  One that I have never have felt or maybe really never paid much attention to before.  I felt so ready to let go of, remove, and purge all the negatives and the old; hold onto whatever matters the most; make better choices for the new;  express more the feelings of my heart; stand up and go forth with MY goals and dreams; find MY purpose and most importantly see clearer the gifts and blessing of each day.  It was as if someone had whispered to me...this year is going to be such a great year - just follow the signs and you'll see!  For several months my horoscope has been stating significant change and I do feel like I'm being guided in someway.  But really, will it be?  As long as that feeling stays with me, it most likely will be, but if somehow it slips away, than, probably not. 2011 here I come...what do you have in store for me?

Researching the Inner You

At some time in our life, something stops us all in our tracks and we start to question ourselves of the why's, the what if's, am I the person I should or want to be, were there any life's lessons that I should have or have learned, what's really my purpose here on this earth or do I even have a purpose. We may even question our faith and religion.  The list can go on and on.  We then try to look deep within ourselves for that point of beginning hoping to "connect the dots".  As we reflect on each of them, we need to make a decision whether or not to delete or keep, so that we may find a sense of peace.   

Throughout my 40+ years, I have asked many of those questions, but have never tried to find the answers at least not as deeply and as hard as I am recently.  Will I find those answers, maybe so, it's hard to tell.  I have never been one to keep journals, as I tend to keep my thoughts inside and to myself.  Why now, would I want to write my thoughts down, nevertheless, on a blog for more people to see?  Hmm, that is a good question.  It's something that I don't quite have the answer to right now but something within is directing me to. We'll see how long it may take for that answer to appear.